Stepping In and Stepping Up: A Reflection of My First Few Months as Managing Director

Even though I have been a guest artist and supporter of 4th Wall for years, I officially started my full time journey here on January 5, 2023…not even a full 4 months ago. In that time, we have produced two plays and started rehearsals for a third, had two board meetings, my first quarter evaluation, 14 company meetings, multiple VIP rehearsal events, Quickbooks training, and countless breakfast, coffee and lunch meetings.

On top of that, we are about to launch our new season (stay tuned on May 8!!) and start our subscription renewal and end of season campaigns. I say all this not to brag but to acknowledge that it has been a very busy season and I have been trying to soak it in like a sponge. I tell people these first few months have felt like drinking from a firehose. Every now and then I am overcome by a wave of anxiety, a sense of overwhelm. Questions like "What am I doing?" or "Why did I think I could do this?" overtake me. Thoughts like "There is so much to do" can paralyze me for a moment. Inevitably I take a step back, take a deep breath. Often, I will get up from my desk and do a quick lap around the upstairs floor of Spring Street Studio, taking in the art around me. I will pause and reflect. There is always more to do, the to-do lists rarely are completed without a few tasks rolling over to the next day or week or month.

But that is the nature of building work with excellence. There is always more. And that's not a bad thing. In fact, it can be a wonderful thing when I can take a moment to remember why I am doing it in the first place. 

I have been blessed these last few months to get to know this team around me in a deeper way. Each group of people inspires me. Kim, Philip, Catherine, Gabe, and Kalin are incredible. The talents and commitment they show up with every day inspire me.

There are the artists: actors, designers, and crew members who grace our space for a couple months, pouring their energy and focus and opening up the most vulnerable creative parts of themselves to tell important stories in an extraordinary way. The box office, front of house staff, and volunteers show up to give of their time and ensure we are able to pull off the momentous task of producing a play and welcoming people into our space.

Our board members and advisors generously pour into me, preparing and equipping me to carry the torch of our work forward. Our donors literally enable us to continue to do what we do with their financial gifts. And, ultimately our patrons; every single person who enters our space to sit with us in the dark, allowing us to bend their ear for an hour or two, to present a slice of the world that may not be familiar, but allows us to think more deeply about the world around us, to gain new perspective and take our eyes off of ourselves for a moment.

This. This is why I am in it in the first place. The people. You who are reading this, even if we haven't met yet, are why I am here and why I am doing this. Art matters. Theatre matters. Stories matter. And without all the people, none of this makes any difference. 

I believe in the life-changing power of stories, and the stories we choose to tell at 4th Wall can do just that. We think about you with every decision we make. We are so grateful for you and want to continue to grow and develop into a theatre that reaches people in Houston and beyond with that life-changing power of a story presented in an extraordinary way. Yes, sometimes it is overwhelming, but when I remember I am doing this for you and not just to complete tasks on my list, I am energized. 

I guess I say all this to say, yes, there is always more work to do: more money to raise, more patrons to cultivate, more meetings to be held, and it can be overwhelming. But I am in this for the long haul, one step at a time. And wow, I hope you will come along on the journey with us. I hope you will join us for the life-changing work of FAIRVIEW which opens in a few weeks on May 26. And then, I hope you will buy season tickets and partner with us for every show in our season next year, maybe even take the next step to supporting the work through a donation, because we need you, I need you to help us get to the "more" we need to do. 

See you at the theatre, 
Jennifer